observed

remembering the bad old days of marijauna-induced paranoia, one begins to wonder; at those times the feelings of 'someone is watching' were much stronger than today. now, there are benefits in not being too paranoid, but there is another point which came to mind today...

that is that we, by our very appearance, and actions are being watched, most importantly by our glorious Creator Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), and then by our fellow beings (human and spiritual - and angelic come to think of it).

now, as muslims representing Islam, we must keep this in mind - that we are the example for anyone who has either; left the path, deviated a little, or not come across it yet - thus we need to be aware that we are being watched, and put forth the best example of Islamic life possible at all times. so those old feelings of paranoia can be put to some good use after all.

of course all this leads to us being even more observable than we've become used to, because it seems that when you take a step in the right direction, more obstacles are strewn in your path. so if one takes this point to mind, and begins to really strive on the sunnahs of our prophet (peace be upon him) and his wonderous companions, so as to show the afore-mentioned fellow creations what the term Islam is supposed to mean, yes - we will face difficulties, but in the true essence of submission to Allah (that which Islam really is), we'll know that it is all in seeking His countenence (Wajh, also meaning 'face', but lets not get into intricacies), and for His pleasure. After that, what more could you want?


ps - thanks jaez

sortie

so i've started a job.

new place. new home (well.. not quite yet, still looking.) same sky, same earth, but different faces, different voices, accents, hairstyles, clothes, ways and means.

it's all pretty overwhelming but i'm doing my utmost to keep my folks proud by trying to be cool and calm and taking things one day at a time. So far it's London Day 3, New Job Day 2. Still not found a place yet, so I'm staying in a hostel not too far from the tube station.

The company are really nice, elegantly efficient, communicative, hardworking, focused, and chilled. They are basically the complete reverse of my first experience in work placement which was as horrible as can be imagined. Intermediate jobs have been progressively better, although - perhaps understandibly - I have preferred the independent self managing roles. It is strange having a boss again, albeit a grouchy but so far very nice one.

The most difficult part of this struggle is to try and find my patch in the garden of the city. In more mundane terms this means finding a good place to live, decent places to relax, shop, exercise, and of course: pray. I am looking forward to meeting each of these needs and then find a stillpoint which I can grow into the peace at the heart of my life.

In real pragmatic cynical terms this means looking for a straightforward no-fuss solution to each of these problems. After which I can focus more on the Ph.D and the Job.

The struggle part is in staying away from temptation in the big city. I could easily go out and lose myself and no one except Allah and I would know, but I don't really want to break down my internal sense of self, I am happy that it is being fed, and I feel healthier than I have done in quite some time. I am making progress, albeit slowly and far away from the only home I've known. I have a friend who converted to islam and then went to another country to start his life, I guess I am beginning to see just how courageous he was.

Jaez

Propaganda

The ten commandments of wartime propaganda, published by Arthur Ponsonby. (courtesy everything2)

1. "We do not want war"


2. "The other side is the only one responsible for the war"


3. "The enemy has the devil's face"


4. "We are defending a noble cause and not some particular interests"


5. "The enemy provocates atrocities; if we goof it's never voluntarily."


6. "The enemy uses unauthorized weapons"


7. "We have nearly no losses, the enemy's are huge"


8. "Artists and intellectuals support our cause"


9. "Our cause has a holy character"


10. "Those who doubt propaganda are traitors"

A poem....

I haven't come here to settle down.

I've come here to depart.

I am a merchant with lots of goods,

selling to whoever will buy.

I didn't come to create any problems,

I'm only here to love.

A Heart makes a good home for the Friend.

I've come to build some hearts.

I'm a little drunk from this Friendship

-Any lover would know the shape I'm in.

I've come to exchange my twoness,to dissapear in One.

He is my teacher.

I am His servant.

I am a nightingale in His garden.

I've come to the Teacher's garden

to be happy and die singing.

They say “Souls which know each other here,

know each other there.”

I've come to know a Teacher

and to show myself as I am.
~Yunes Emre~

some more encouragement

hearsay(s) (and nothing to do with plastic production-line pop)

so, brothers and sisters and surfers - readers all, can this writer be excused from the whole secrecy thing? cos being a cafe-hopper, and not having the luxury or the brain-capacity required, or the time to download, install, learn how to work etc. any little encryption programs, (although that word sounds so intriguing!) and also not really having anything to hide as far as things go, well the excuses could run on but you get the picture...

something heard this morning after fajr ; when faced with un-believers who are suspicious, we say, 'i stand crying in front of Allah, asking that you be guided to Islam, and I hope that then you can be like me, or even better, and thus call others'. and what purpose would hiding our motives serve? it would be an anathema to what we're trying to acheive

calling others to Allah is a part of the rahma (mercy) that must be in our hearts, and love for all of Allah's creations. (to at least give others a chance to experience what we have). now, it involves rejection, and hatred most of the time, but when we have gotten ourselves under control, and thus reached that level of rahma, then we become smoothly submitted to the will of Allah, because as we know from the Qur'an, 'Allah guides whomever He wills'.

we also know that it's not worth fearing anything other than Allah - that means how people respond to us, because we are free of that, as part of the correct understanding of our Lord. there is nothing that is not under His control, or happening by His will, and there is no might or power except in Him. some say there is no reality except Allah, but that gets a tad mystical and not many can grasp the meaning of that one til they've transcended the 'norms' of everyday materialist thinking. but it's all a test, to keep us in check, and make us work on ourselves to stay (or get) on 'the path'.

so take solace in the only Refuge and Protecting Friend, and ask, and direct fear where it is due, and everything's easy insha Allah (God willing).

something heard the other day for the first time; when the inhabitants of hell are placed in it, they will be asked, 'did you ever enjoy anything before this?' and they will respond, 'no, by Allah before this we have never enjoyed anything'. Subhana Allah (how perfect Allah is), we think our life is so long, and we talk of experiential things! Similarly the inhabitants of paradise will be asked, 'did you ever experience any unhappiness before this?' and they will say, 'by Allah no, we have never felt any anguish before'.

amazing stuff, when we think of the trials of this life and how they seem so insurmountable to us when our hearts dont keep remembering Allah, but really, in the real life after death these things wont even register...

so let's take care where our ever-after will be..

how to deal with skinheads